WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk announced on Friday that he had tapped Donald J. Trump to lead a new government unit called DOZE. Musk said he was “totally pumped” to see what Trump can accomplish at DOZE, which stands for the Department Of Zero Efficiency. “Just as a computer goes to sleep to conserve precious energy, President Trump will perform this important task at DOZE,” Musk said. “This will enable others to do the real work of this government.” The Tesla chief said he was “blown away” by Trump’s talent for sleeping, adding, “He’s like me after a monster dose of ketamine.” TBR Question of the Day: What member of the administration would you most like to be asleep for the next four years? Leave your comment below:Now More Than Ever: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.© 2025 Andy Borowitz |